I was on the boat, now I am on the road.

By S. Nagaveeran (Ravi).

I was on the boat
now I am on the road.

There wasn’t safety in my land
and nothing free was in my hand
I couldn’t walk freely and I couldn’t talk fairly
so I seek the place where there is peace on earth
I found the place and I landed the boat.
and I thought I was on the right road
In the dark, each other’s face we can’t see… we were loaded,
a big boat like they were loading death fish.
Nice smells that brought sick to my tummy and threw out what I had lastly with my family,
it’s sad because I mixed the love food with salty water.

I saw the bright moon on the dark sky…
there were stars sparkling with the queen
and stars trying to fall in love with the moon
My heart full of hope…
my mind full of plans,
but I am still scared…
and my body is shaking for the higher waves
Darkness was slowly falling, sexy with brightness and trying to bring the baby blue sky
my eye winks and the winks feel shy to see the brightness,
my lips bring a cute smile,
my deep breath mixes with higher waves and storms.
I saw many others being the same on the boat…
could see everyone’s eyes carrying millions of dreams
and I could feel the pain in hearts for what we missed already
and we could still be laughing, still enjoying super-high waves with shaking bodies,
each day the same as usual…

Rain knows we can’t have a shower with good water
so rain pours, sometimes in the day, most of the time midnight, with amazing lightning and thunderstorms but we can’t say no and we can’t hide
It needs to shower… yes nature
was forced to have that shower… if it comes anytime.
It’s funny we all want to fall to knee to take a bath,
yes, slowly the rain’s stopping, it bathes us and bodies shake with cold as wind cuddles…
We started drying with what we have, wet clothes
yes, then the sun will start to hug us softly, to kiss our bodies.
When he comes in the middle of the day… he will start to love us too much, like real Australians…
sometimes the sun does unconditional love
makes us more tired… with sun baths.
No place to hide, even if we hide, sun or rain will find us,
someone had white skin that’s gone black
Mine’s gone more black.

Yes, 22 days… Beauty mixed with a dangerous road on the boat journey,
each one has a different experience.
But we are all still offered the life in the deep water to see freedom!
yes finally, we arrived in the beautiful land called the Cocos Island, the beauty of Australia.
My deep breath mixed with the wind and smoothly caressed my black skin, it still reminds my mind…
lots of hopes and dreams and laughing smiles from heart and high fives, tears with joy.
It’s all I thought: I am going to plant my dream seeds in this land and make a beautiful garden
suddenly I was stripped inside-out and my name was changed to a number,
And I saw inhuman treatment once again.
In the humanity land
where I thought… to plant my life trees.

I never thought that dream seeds would be taken and thrown so far from me—yes
it’s all gone and I was super-tired, more than in my land… and more than
my risky adventure moving
Quickly… In a deep ditch
I am surrounded by some kind of sickness
It’s called suffering with mental illness
yes… held in the mental cage… and I do war… like a bird singing and crying for flying with free wings… And biting the cage steals.
Yes, finally my mental cage was open… but my legs are still tight with mental laws I call your unfair policy
but they say it’s asylum seekers policy.
But I am still mentally sick,
still I am trying to get out of that mental war without giving up
I wish and hope to see an ending with peace.

Five years ago I was on the boat to seek peace – now I am on the road to find… peace that I missed…

I was on the boat
now I am on the road.

Artwork by Jackie Benney. Published with permission of the artist.




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