Who am I?

By Wendy Dunn

My mother told me,

‘You’ll be a wife and mother

Just like me

Good girls don’t sleep with men

But wait for the ring

Contract signed

Don’t marry

An Englishman

They’re all mad

Just look at your dad

My life ended

When I married him.’

My Dad predicted for me

Two possible paths

Work in a Jam factory

Or, walk the streets

(Maybe

Reverse psychology?)

I married at 18

My Englishman

Mad at times

But so am I

Having babies

Locked away

In the story of wife

It seemed at times

My mother was right

Marriage was the end

To living, to dreams

An older woman told me

‘You’ve made your bed,

Lie in it.’

I birthed my second son

And screamed out why?

Who am I?

Who am I?

Who am I?

I cried.

I didn’t know anymore

I had no story

Other than marriage, mothering

A smothering life

I had lost my dream

My soul dying

How could I mother,

When I hadn’t learnt

to live?

 

An unexamined life
Is not worth living

A wise man once said

I seized my life

An authentic life

By writing

 

Image by Mikhail Pavstyuk.


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