By Daniela Abriola
I wasn’t opposed to the idea of going out for drinks. Especially since I hadn’t left my room in three days. But who’s counting. Except I felt rather comfortable staying in the cacoon of blankets I had made for myself over the past three days. I had an abundance of Glee episodes and I was pretty sure I had an oncoming UTI from not using the bathroom in 14 hours. I definitely have the largest bladder in the southern hemisphere and it is not just my lack of motivation to get up and use the toilet. It’s definitely not the latter.
You’re probably wondering, Madison why haven’t you left your room? Are you sick? And the answer is yes. I’m sick of my life and I wish that I didn’t do the things I do.
You’re probably still confused. Let me explain. A couple of weeks ago, I came to the magic realisation that I’m bisexual. I probably should have realised when I started feeling things that were definitely not platonic for girls. Specifically, my best friend. It wasn’t till 3 days ago when I realised it wasn’t so much of a crush and more of an ‘I’m in love with you’ type of thing. While I was busy trying to processing this, I thought the best way to deal with my new-found emotions was to tell Hayley herself.
It didn’t really turn out that great. Obviously. Well actually, it depends on your definition of ‘great’. if you think being called a ‘fucking dyke’ is great, then it went really well.
‘Madison, this is getting ridiculous, you haven’t left the house in days.’
I hoped the longer I stayed quiet, the less interest in my wellbeing my sister would be. But, never underestimate my sister’s determination to bother me. She continued knocking until I couldn’t stand it anymore.
‘Grace,’ I said, ‘have you ever thought that maybe I’ve recently turned into a vampire and can’t go in the sun? Because that could be a very real possibility for me.’
My sister sighed from the other side of the door. ‘I know that’s not true, because you haven’t left your bed when it’s night either.’
‘You know vampires aren’t real right?’ I said. I could practically hear the steam coming out of my sister’s ears and I smiled. Annoying my sister was one of my favourite pass times.
She groaned and swung open my bedroom door. ‘You’re being ridiculous. It couldn’t possibly have gone that bad.’
It did go that bad. In fact, think of the worst, most embarrassing, humiliating moment of your life and multiply it by a thousand.
‘You’re right. It was worse.’ I made no effort to elaborate and hoped that pulling the comforter over my head would void the conversation. I didn’t.
‘Madison, you’re coming out with me whether you like it or not. Who knows, you might find the love of your life tonight.’
‘Oh, you haven’t heard? I’ve decided that I’m going to die alone. Not by choice, but that seems to be the way that things are going.’
The lights are low and the music was pumping through the speakers. She did it. Grace actually managed to get me to leave my bedroom. I’m not happy about it though. The rhythm of the bass was beating in my chest. I couldn’t hear the sound of my own voice over the music that I’ve never even heard of. I was really regretting changing out of my pyjamas to come here. I don’t even like drinking, and no, it’s not because I don’t know how to properly drink a shot. Well, it’s not the main reason.
A guy who was definitely twice my age, walked up to the bar where I was standing. He smiled and, trying to be polite, I smiled back. This must have meant I was interested in him because he leaned in as he spoke. I didn’t hear everything he said, but his breath was hot against my ear and the way he placed his hand gently on my shoulder made whole body shiver in the worst way.
‘Hey I’ve been looking for you all night!’ I jumped at the sound of a voice behind me. A tall boy, with blonde hair with pale skin steps into my line of vision. As the older guy saw the blonde boy walk up to me, he turned mumbled something and walked away from us.
‘Sorry about that,’ he apologised. ‘I saw you were uncomfortable, and I thought you’d feel better about a guy your age trying to take you home.’ The blonde boy winked and I resisted the urge to vomit.
Somehow, I was more uncomfortable than I was before. The boy who’s name I didn’t care to learn, turned to the bar and began ordering us drinks. As soon as I was out of his line of vision, I quickly made my way to the bathroom.
That’s how I ended up sitting on the toilet at the club, wondering how my sister managed to convince me to come here. In the span of twenty minutes I had been hit on by two guys who definitely looked like they were wanted for arrest.
The door to the bathroom opened letting in a burst of music from the club. It’s still some awful song with too much bass and not enough Taylor Swift for my liking. I don’t know why I expected to have the bathroom to myself, but the stall door next to mine clicks shut just as I open mine. The bathroom walls were painted black, but are covered by stickers and graffiti. The bathroom smells like, well, a bathroom. But it does have soap that smells like mango and passionfruit, so it’s not all bad. I look at the mirrors above the sinks. I let out a huff of air and comb my finger through my hair. Maybe Grace is right, maybe this is good for me. Maybe I can meet someone who is actually into me.
‘Crap.’ There’s a voice from the stall, low and panicked. ‘Hey, um. Can you pass some toilet paper?’
She’s talking to me. There’s no one else in the bathroom with us, but it still catches me off guard.
‘Me?’
The girl pauses for a moment. ‘Yes, you.’
Quickly, I reached into the stall I was just in I grab an excessive amount of toilet paper and pass it under the stall. Our hands accidently brush together and she takes it.
She chuckles, ‘thank you, but I think this amount of toilet paper is enough for at least three people.’
I shrug even though I know she can’t see me. ‘Hey, what you do in the bathroom is your business.’
She flushes, and steps out of the stall, and the first thing I notice is her t-shirt. The letters are so faded you could barely make out the letters. Rosie’s Midnight Vandals is a local Melbourne band, and up until now, I had never met anyone who liked them.
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself. ‘You like Rosie’s Midnight Vandals?’
The girl raises the eyebrows, smiling. ‘You’re a fan of them?”
‘I guess you could call me a hard-core groupie who has too much self-respect to sleep with the band.’
The girl laughs – one of those soft and quite laughs that from the bottom of your stomach. Then I really look at her. And oh. She’s Gorgeous. She’s tall and she has black hair like ebony. She’s got her hair tied up and her skin is a golden tan. I’m trying not to stare but she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.
‘You’re funny,’ she smiled, then quickly looked me up and down. ‘And cute.’
And shit. I can’t feel my legs anymore and my brain is not thinking in coherent sentences. She’s flirting with me and I’m definitely smiling way to big right now.
‘I’m Blake,’ she said.
Blake is so pretty I’m having a hard time replying. I’m hyperaware of much my hands are sweating. Are my hands always this sweaty? And I’m also aware of how long I’m taking to reply.
‘Madison,’ I said.
‘Well, Madison,’ Blake pulled out a paper towel from next to the sink and began writing something on a piece of paper. ‘You should call me sometime.’
As Blake hands me the paper towel with her number on it, I can’t help but thinking that tonight wasn’t all that bad.